JEFF WILLIE LEADERSHIP

In life, you don’t get what you want, you get what you expect. The key word is “Expectations.” Your word choice and your nonverbals like body language determine your expectations. What do you expect from your children? What are the modeling behaviors your children are seeing? What are the words you are speaking into your children’s lives? There is life and death in words. I am reminded of my eighth-grade math class a few years ago (1972) in a small school district in East Texas. It was the second year this small school district was integrated with black and white students attending school together. Myself, plus four other 13- and 14-year-old African-American boys where behaving inappropriately in class. Our math teacher needed to get our attention, which he did in a very inappropriate way. I quote, “You boys are STUPID; you are never going to amount to anything and do not take algebra in the ninth grade.” Yes, the teacher’s word choice was totally inappropriate, and it was wrong for him to speak those words to students or to anyone. Our teacher was operating from a low expectation paradigm for African-American boys. His expectations of African-American boys or your expectations of your children become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Most of us are familiar with a common childhood chant, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Obviously, we know that is not true. Words can cause long-term emotional harm that may impair an individual from reaching his or her full potential. Before speaking, take a few moments to contemplate what you will say and how you will say it, while considering the impact your words will have on the listeners. Kind words are always music to their ears. High expectations can change a life. Expectations of Educators/Parents: (1) are enthusiastic about their children and particular subject and see the connections to everyday life, (2) model expectations in language and actions, (3) have a commitment for continuous learning, (4) believe all children can learn at a high level, (5) value the many ways children/students communicate and engage and encourage different communication models, (6) respect and develop a productive relationship with students, parents, and guardians from different socio-economic backgrounds and diverse communities. I agree with Madeline Hunter when she stated, “Kids don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!” Caring, belief, encouragement, and unconditional positive regard are the keys that unlock the heart and mind. Hearts and minds are opened in the home, in the classroom, in your circle of influence when there are caring parents, guardians, and educators who model and teach with passion and manage with compassion. Fast forward from 1972 to 1995. College algebra was a prerequisite for obtaining an associate degree from the Community College of the Air Force. Because of the destructive language spoken to me by my 8th grade math teacher, college algebra was extremely difficult. I prevailed after four attempts and completed algebra because I refused to allow negative words spoken into my life to defeat me and handicap my full potential and future. I went on to serve 26 years in the United States Air Force, earn three associate degrees, a bachelor’s degree, a master’s degree, a graduate certificate in conflict mediation, and am pursuing my doctorate degree in educational leadership. I am a College Professor, Internationally Certified Leadership Coach, Leadership Trainer, Certified Educational Consultant, Conflict Resolution Trainer, and Motivational Speaker. I’m an Honorary Colonel in the Arkansas State Police, Honorary Member of the Arkansas Highway Police, and a Certified Arkansas Law Enforcement Instructor in Rapid Response, Special Weapons, and Tactics (SWAT). My wife Pat and I have been married over 42 years; we raised two highly successful, beautiful daughters—our oldest is a pediatrician and our youngest is an attorney. While I am proof that your past does not determine your future—you determine your future—there are many children who do not overcome the harsh words spoken into their lives. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble. Considering the power of the words we utter, we must discipline ourselves to speak to our children in a way that conveys respect, gentleness, and humility. We must model kindness and speak words that are beacons of inspiration, enthusiasm, and encouragement if we wish to set high expectations of our children. Editor’s Note: Professor Jeff Willie is an executive leadership consultant, conflict resolution trainer, coach and motivational speaker with a passion to help individuals and businesses improve productivity, performance and profitability. Jeff earned our Very Inspiring Parent Award in 2018 (March/April), which chronicled his inspirational personal story. Reach Jeff at jeff@jeffwillie.com

Raising oneself up from extreme poverty is a major challenge for anyone to conquer, but it was Jeff Willie’s revelation at age 19 that would forever change his life. The current Allen, TX resident was born in 1957 as the 10th of 12 children in the East Texas town of Deberry, near Carthage, literally, as he says, “in the woods.” “My home had no running water, indoor plumbing, electricity, television, telephone or automobile. We got our water from natural sources, like a local brook, and we had a wood stove, fireplace and heater,” Willie says. “For transportation, we used mules to pull wagons, and we raised our own food, including vegetables, chickens and hogs.” Willie’s father, a sharecropper, was a World War II veteran and Jeff’s mother only completed the third grade. The older siblings all attended segregated schools, and the same held true for Willie until the seventh grade. He graduated high school in May 1976, one of the fortunate few of the “Willie Dozen” to do so. He adds that of his siblings who did not graduate, all but one struggled to be economically stable in their lives. In 1977, at age 19, Willie enlisted in the U.S. Air Force. As he compiled the documents to enlist, he saw something that gave him pause. On his birth certificate, his father’s signature was simply the letter “X;” beneath it a note from the County Clerk confirming it was his father’s mark. This was how Willie discovered that his father could neither read nor write. “It hit me like a ton of bricks,” he says. “It all became clear; when my dad would ask me to read something to him as a way of ‘practicing my reading,’ it was his way of concealing his own illiteracy.” Willie says his father was “the most intelligent man I knew,” stating that one cannot measure intelligence based only on Intelligence Quotient (IQ); a good Emotional Quotient (EQ) is necessary as well. From that day on, Willie resolved that he would base his life on a platform of literacy and academic discipline. He calls that focus his “X” factor, aptly named for the “X” with which his father signed his birth certificate. He served in the U.S. Air Force from April 1977 until October 2002 and earned three Associate Degrees from Community College of the Air Force, a Bachelor’s in Corporate Training and Development, Master’s in Organizational and Human Resources Development and a Graduate Certificate in Conflict Mediation from Abilene Christian University. Currently, Willie is pursuing his doctorate in Educational Leadership, concentrating on socio-economic resiliency factors, risk factors, protective factors and shared factors to produce high academic achievement among students of color. He is a certified John Maxwell trainer, an Associate Professor and has over 26 years of experience as a Conflict Mediator/Family Mediator. Willie has an extensive background in Leadership Training and Development, is a former facilitator of Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and has been a platform presenter/facilitator since 1982. He is a Certified Arkansas Law Enforcement Instructor in Rapid Response Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT), an Honorary Colonel of Arkansas State Police and an Honorary Member of Arkansas Highway Police. Since that day in 1977, Willie has provided guidance to thousands of people who struggle with literacy. His motto is “I serve by adding value to people. People are my business.” He maintains that one can always help someone else. “If you live those values, then you pass on those values to someone else,” he explains. He quotes the American author and leadership expert, John Maxwell, “‘Be a river, not a reservoir.’ Share your knowledge; don’t just keep it for yourself.” The legacy of literacy and striving to do one’s best has not been lost on Willie’s own family. He and his wife Pat are the proud parents of Katrina, who is a pediatrician and Ursula, who is an attorney. Everything he teaches, says Willie, is part of literacy, including character building, citizenship, growth mindset and life-long learning. “You have to have a willingness to overcome obstacles. I look at them as opportunities for growth,” Willie says. “I try to lift people up.” He gives back to the community as a High School Air Force Junior ROTC teacher and teaches the students his mantra: “What I see is what I do; what I do is what I practice; what I practice is what I become.” Willie says, “I’m not any different from any other person with a level of resiliency who picks themselves up and moves forward.” We see it differently. For his resilience, his dedication to promoting literacy, character building, citizenship, growth mindset and life-long learning, and his community service, we present Jeff Willie with our Very Inspiring Parent award. Editor’s Note: Jeff Willie is available for speaking engagements on a wide array of educational and inspirational topics. For information, reach him at 214.733.2561 or jeffwillie02@gmail.com.